When I Was Distracted

This is an experience from last night and I really wanted to share it and I hope it encourages you to get deeper with the LORD and remain steadfast in His love for you. You can never love God as much as He loves you… Impossible. Because He loves us with ALLL That He is and although we are made in His image we are not Him to His entirety. In fact if it were solely up to us to love God we would do a poor Job at it… God tells us how to love Him yes, but then He fills us up with all we need to Love Him. He fills us with Himself.  Love for Him cannot flow from our own cistern of love simply because we don’t have one. God IS ONE He is the cistern of Love… He is Love…If He dwells in us ONLY THEN can we love Him.

The way to start this and honestly this is no superficial or cliché start… Jesus loves me… and in return I honestly want to love Him back but I’m now made aware that I’ll never love Him as much as He loves me.

I had such an amazing experience. What you will read is a journal entry to Jesus… This kinda gives an insight to how me and Him are… I hope you take something away from it x

We danced and we danced

I wept and I wept

You alerted me that I was trying to put my life in my own hands that’s why it felt so so small for the moment. You reminded me that The plans and purposes you have for me are so grande that it was best for my life to be in your grande hands, if they remained in my own hands that are even smaller than my body itself I will forever be dissatisfied… Wow…

As I wept with my arms spread out across the ground and my face in the bible… I wept and I wept and I wept I had to pour out my heart I had been holding it in for far too long… No one was home and it was time, it was soooo time to let it all out… I didn’t even know I had all that junk cooped up in me because of what…?! Business…?! Not being at peace…?! thinking 1233084876398 miles per hour… I needed to be in your presence Lord and you knew I did…. You knew I did… You reminded me that Holy Spirit is constantly at work in me and that I will never be left in my ignorance so long as You dwell here and I in you and you in me… Jesus…. There is absolutely no one like You…

As I continued to weep and pour out my heart I began to speak in tongues but I hadn’t noticed that I started speaking in tongues until a little after… as I wept I sensed You comforting me and I was listening to a song called ‘We Dance’ by Steffany Frizzell Gretzinger from Bethel

I sensed that You put your hand out in a gesture to say “Let us dance”… at first I was going to resist because I didn’t think it was you but you gently and romantically insisted and I got up but almost fell to my knees again because I was still weeping heavily… You then span me around and started to speak to me… Saying that You do speak to me and I should believe that I hear You, and you spoke more and more as to say “Listen I’m giving you something to hear” then I started getting flash backs of all our experiences… and all your embraces… I stood still and you took my hand and you put your head against mine… forehead to forehead and you embraced me… You love me so much! then I continued to get flash backs whilst we danced and it was like you were saying… “Can you see this? Do you see that? Do you remember this? Do you remember that?  These were real, do not stop believing in these, hold on to these”… I began to weep, as I saw the memory of when You rescued me from the arms and the dance of the enemy, the angels and their swords and their obedience in protecting me… the memory of when You came to me for the first time in my room whilst I was worshiping You and You drew near and said I shouldn’t be afraid but that I should keep my eyes shut, the memory of the first time you picked me up and spun me around and we played chase and we laughed and we loved each other… I was as a child in your sight and Oh how it made the Father happy… As He sat on His throne, He laughed and smiled. He was the light of the throne… He lit up the place we played.

 

 

 

As we danced I continued to weep. I just felt so overwhelmed by the presence of God and His righteousness that I didn’t feel worthy enough to stand up physically with Him… Then He said these things…

“Do not let the enemy pull you down… do not let him become an anchor to you… He aims to be an anchor but I hold you up, I’ll never weigh you down it is the enemy that aims to weigh you down, I am not an anchor to you to weigh you down, I keep you afloat…, I am Strength to you,  I hold you up with My righteous right hand.” 

WOW…. whilst all this was being said and shown we were still dancing and every time I grew weak to want to go back on the floor The Lord would lift me up with His Hand and continue to speak to me and Say continually that He holds me up, He holds me up, He never weighs me down I will always get up….

As we danced, He comforted me and span me around and I began to say “Lord you love me so much…” and I tried to stop dancing or slow down but He drew me near to Himself  as to keep me from moving away or stopping and my response was “I do not deserve You…”  He replied “Yes, But I deserve You…” That melted my heart beyond belief… He then said “I bought you at a price…” I knew exactly what He was speaking about as I know that part in Scripture…. With His blood… It was His Blood that brought me near to Him…

I will never forget this… Where I was holding on to my own will… and feeling stuck because of all the distracting things around me… when all along I just needed to do was get honest, real and transparent AND vulnerable pouring out my heart to my Husband… Christ

I really don’t need anyone else or crave anything else… It’s hard to believe by some but it’s true… I feel I have nothing to lose because I have all I need… 

“I will bring to you all that is good Andrea…. I will fill you up with all that is good…. Trust me….”

I Believe Him…

Today I surrendered my will back to Jesus… I put Him on and said I truly want His will to be done in my life…  I no longer want to put a time on anything or a deadline… I just want Him and His presence forever…

Guys… This for me was a reminder that we go through many seasons… some longer, some shorter than others…. This season for me was a season to learn what to do in the midst of choices, decisions, opinions, lies from the enemy, busyness, emotions, uncertainty and a full mind…. As easy as it was for me to advice someone to “Stay Focused” and as much as I would say it was something I needed to do I had to go through this to practically learn to stay focused and also to know WHAT I would need to stay focused in the midst of!… SO I moved from KNOWING it was something I HAD to do, to knowing HOW to do it…

I learnt literally again that God is soooo in control and HE is the only one that can clear a cluttered mind and clear away the difficultly of all those things I mentioned above… It is honestly all about Him!

This season has indeed prepared me for the next season…. I’m pumped!

Until next time… Stay focused… and when you pray that God helps you stay focused, best believe you will encounter things that you ought to stay focused in the midst of lol. Gold cannot wish to be refined without fire! Coal cannot wish to sparkle without pressure.

Jesus Loves You

I hope you heard my heart 🙂 ❤

Andrea xx

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